Inside the Darkness

Do you know what it's like,

To be too afraid to speak,

For fear that your words,

Will break the weak.

To be silent,

When you want to scream,

Is a terrible feeling.

When words escape,

Chaos ensues.

You speak the truth,

And you write your fantasy.

The darkness within,

Should never be seen,

Except through the words,

That escape from the pen.

There is no title to this because no title is needed. Those who truly know me will understand the meaning behind the words in this poem. Someone recently read a poem titled Unbroken and I would like to thank whoever did. I had forgotten about this poem and it really describes me right now.

Now for the poem you came to read.

Balanced on a blade,

A life hangs in the balance.

Not knowing what to do,

She turns to those who care.

Blinding trust,

To stay alive,

She doesn't want to die.

Looking over the edge,

With suicide lurking below,

She flees in terror.

Ignoring fear and pain,

She pushes past,

And life goes on.

Life is still balanced,

But no longer in peril,

Because she knows she is loved.

A loving embrace,

And a lovers face,

She knows her place.

When the Wheel Turns

When I close my eyes,

I see your face,

And all I want,

Is to feel your embrace,

One last time.

I miss your smile,

I miss your laugh,

I miss the way,

You wouldn't say,

What was on your mind.

You are my Dad,

For just 10 years,

And I wish,

You had always been.

I can't bare to think of you,

In that cold ground,

But I know,

Why you're not around.

You can not walk me down the isle,

Nor can you see,

My little one smile,

I do not know,

What I will do,

When these things come to pass.

I cry and scream,

But you can not hear,

What I have to say.

I want to see you one last time,

But I know,

I'll have to wait.

Until the veil has thinned,

And the wheel turns once more,

When Samhain has come,

Then I can see you again.

Just thought you should know...

Since I have decided to embrace my religion I thought it would be a good idea to write it down. It's not really a religion, more like a thought process, but I will use the word religion because it is easier. Being a curious creature I can't help but learn new and exciting things. The different religions of this world is no exception. Through my learning I have found that I don't like structured religion. I don't like people telling me what to believe, what I can and can't do, and how to worship. The closest religion/belief system that matches what I believe is Paganism. Paganism is a nature based belief system. There are no rules saying you have to believe this and you can't believe that. There is freedom in this. You worship what God(s)/Goddess(es) that call to you and you can do it your way.

Since I brought up Deity let me explain my idea of Deity. There is only one being that created everything. That being is neither male nor female, it is both. Now some religions only believe and worship the male aspect of this Creator as a God. While others only believe and worship the female aspect as a Goddess. Then there are some that worship both aspects as a God and Goddess. I belong to the later. There is something comforting and balanced about this that calls out to my unbalanced mind. I also believe that there is no right or wrong when it comes to how and what you worship. To me there isn't one true religion. How does one decide if your religion is the one true religion? The followers of the one true religion believe that everyone who doesn't believe is going to hell/Hades/whatever you want to call it. Well if everyone thinks that their religion is the one true religion the hell is going to be awful crowded.

Let me ask you this and I want you to actually think about it. If hell means being separated from your Deity of choice the couldn't you say that living is a form of hell?

This brings up my next point... reincarnation. I choose to believe in reincarnation because I can't imagine any Deity giving you only one chance to get things right, while giving you multiple things to choose from.

These things bring me comfort and make loosing loved ones a little easier. It's important now more than ever as I watch my Dad as he lays here dying. I know some of you reading this won't agree with what I believe, but please understand my reasons.... and don't try to talk me out of what I believe because you won't change my mind.