Daddy

I see you lying there,

Wasting away to nothing,

And I don't even know,

If you realize that I'm still here.

You want to leave this world,

And Daddy that's okay,

Because in the end,

It's better this way.

Unaware of your surroundings,

Not knowing where you are,

You seem so frightened,

But in bed is where your at.

I wish I could tell you,

That it's okay to die,

But I have a hard time,

Just looking you in the eye.

There are so many things,

That I wish we could have done,

And I wish I had been your daughter,

Right from the very beginning.

I may not have liked you,

When you first dated my mom,

But I grew to love you,

Because it was part of your charm.

You took me in,

Despite my destructive ways,

And you became my dad,

In every way that counts.

I love you,

And I don't want you to leave,

But I understand,

That the Gods are calling you home.

So go be with Them,

And see your mom again,

If that is what you want to do.

Please don't forget us,

And we won't forget you,

Because you will always be my Dad,

No matter what anyone else says.

I don't have to words,

To say this out loud to you,

So I hope my love and intention,

Finds it's way to you.  

Banishment Spell

So here I am,

Back at the start,

With thoughts of dread,

Running through my head,

And plaguing my heart.

I banish the voice of doom,

That whispers to me at night.

I banish the fingers of dread,

That caress my cheeks.

I banish the worm of doubt,

That crawls over my heart,

As it looks for a way in.

I banish thee,

All negativity must flee from me.

Mindless Chatter

Is anyone there,

To hear me when I cry,

Or will it go unnoticed.

Will someone hold me,

To ease me of my sorrows,

Or will I be ignored.

Will someone be here,

To pick me up when I fall,

Or do I walk alone.

Alone in thought,

Walking down the road,

I cry my silent tears.

I want to be comforted,

But I don't want to show my pain,

So am I waiting in vain.

Thoughts of you,

Flow through my mind,

And my heart fills with gladness,

So why do my tears,

Flow silently down my cheeks.

Too many thoughts,

My mind is in chaos,

So I can't see the razor,

That I am balanced on.

I feel my self tipping,

On the edge of falling,

Will no one stop me.

My sorrow fills my heart,

Until it brims over,

And my tears fall like rain.

I know someone is there,

And I know they care,

But why do I feel so alone.

Can you see my pain,

And can you feel my heart breaking?

I needed you here,

And you went there,

But it's okay,

Because I told you to go.

Can you do me a favor?

Can you come back to me,

As soon as you can.

The Tunnel

~ This is just a note so I don't freak out the people who know me really well. I am trying to stay strong while watching what's happening with my dad, but sometimes it is hard to stay balanced on the razor blade I have been put upon. With out the people who love and care for me I don't know where I would be and I really don't want to find out. I have to write things down to get them out of my mind because if they are left there to fester... gods only know what could happen.

Now for the actual poetry.....

I can feel myself slipping,

Down that dark,

Unending tunnel,

And there is nothing I can do,

Nothing I can hold on to.

I am standing at the edge,

Looking down in to the abyss,

And all I can think of is,

What's it like down there.

I don't really want to go,

But curiosity always kills the cat.

The walls of the tunnel are so smooth,

That all it would take,

Would be one step.

That one step,

Would take you all the way to the bottom.

The end is nothing,

Nothing but a pool of blood.

I should know,

Because I've been there before,

And it took me years,

Just to get out again.

If I go,

I don't think I'll ever get out again.